Lawyers, Waffles and Truck Stops

May 29, 2016

This is a special catch-up edition of Geezers on the Road to discuss a few of our collected observations.

LAWYERS
We have all had it happen.
A quick discordant sound or sight… then again, then again and again.
More and more until it gradually impeded on our conscious awareness and we realize we have been seeing or hearing it for awhile.
That’s Highway 98 along the coast of Mississippi, Alabama and Florida when it comes to lawyer billboards. As we drove along we began to be aware that there were an unusual number of billboards advertising PI lawyers offering representation. Then it kept getting worse… at one point they were so prevalent passing our windshield we counted forty-two in a ten mile stretch.

By far the most prominent was Alexander Shunnarah. Then others, clearly for self-defence, filled int the rest. There were nine different firms represented in that ten miles; Shunnarah, Farah & Farah, Morgan & Morgan, Harrell & Harrell, Saul Goodman and several others.

Jacksonville Florida is the putative Lawyer Billboard Capital of the World. It kept getting worse as we drove through Florida. The board count gradually subsided as we moved up through Georgia and the Carolinas.

Alexander Shunnarah pays for over 2000 billboards in Alabama, Mississippi and Florida. At about $500 a month per board I leave it to my lawyer and accounting readers to run the numbers and number of cases he must process at his confessed 95% settlement rate. In any event the locals consider his and the others’ responses to be an unwanted pollution of the scenic drive. By the time we got to Pennsylvania it was rare to see a lawyer billboard. We don’t miss them.

WAFFLES
A Southern states phenomena unfamiliar to our gentle readers in the West or North-East is the Waffle House. Like the lawyer billboards they began to intrude on our consciousness somewhere in East Texas. Then more and more as we turned the corner in Florida and passed through Georgia. Again they were gone by Pennsylvania.
Waffle House is a regional chain of small and simple diner style restaurants with a distinctive building design and sign. You can’t miss either the sign or the building once you see one.

Jacksonville may be the Lawyer Billboard Capital but Georgia is the Waffle House Capital with 381 of these mock-brick buildings… compare that with Georgia’s 342 McDonald’s. Throughout the region there are over 2100 Waffle Houses. California, Oregon, Washington, New York? None.

So, what are they? We had to try. It’s a waffle house, right. We expected a great selection of regular and Belgian waffles with all kinds fillings and toppings. Strawberry, blueberry, ice cream or a mix of flavored syrups and real Maple syrup.

Not. No Belgian waffles, only traditional half-inch griddle waffles. They have eight of the same flip-over waffle-makers identical to the do-it-yourself waffle-makers so prominant these days in hotel free-breakfast rooms.

Toppings? Chocolate chip or pecan. That’s it.
So the waffle choices come down to plain, pecan or chocolate chip. No fresh fruit in sight.

They do have regular diner food; burgers, eggs, hash browns or grits and lunch and dinner items of a similar character. All the cooking is done across the counter in plain sight by two or three cooks serving two friendly but busy waitresses. Like watching most kitchens it can be a bit disconcerting watching them shuttle, prep, restock, plate and handle the ingredients. Some commenters consider them cheap greasy-spoon establishments. We didn’t find them particularly inexpensive.

TRUCK STOPS
When we transit city to city we primarily patronize brand name truck stops.
When we began our longer motorcycle tours a few years ago we used to just look for large gas station / mini-marts for our quick breaks. GG’s bike has only about a 150 mile range between fill-ups, and they were convenient.
Gradually we became aware of how much more the big name truck stops offer. Travelling by car, truck stop benefits are even more appropriate to our style.
With the longer cruising range of the car we now more often choose to stop because one of us needs a rest-room stop.

Mini-marts often have a single men’s and woman’s restroom. Nothing is more uncomfortable than standing on one leg, then the other while waiting for the single restroom. Or worse, standing in line waiting. Once you get in there it often has that dirty feeling that it is a low priority behind selling gas, sodas and Doritos.

The branded truck stops, Flying J, Petro, Pilot and TA, are competing for repeat long-haul customers and they want them happy. The restrooms are large and always clean. There is a real restaurant attached and they have reasonably priced food and fuel. They want these guys and gals stopping on the switch-back. These are true oases.

At the branded truck stops the truckers and we,  if we wanted them, have all sorts of extra benefits available; restaurants including sit-down and take-out with ‘healthy food choices’, grocery items, snack items,and assorted other retail specialty shops such as hardware, gift stores, candy shop etc as well as TV and game rooms, laundry facilities, showers, hair salons, sit-down and take-out.

The staffing is invariably tuned to the travelers needs, not to the local gas-and-go customer. They understand the need for prompt and full service.
This is not high cuisine stuff. It may be a Denny’s or Cracker Barrel, but it is consistent and dependable.

Even before this trip began, when we were travelling by bike, we looked first for the branded truck stops. We felt safe and catered to there. Still do.

-Geezer